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December 31, 2016 0 Comments Life, New Year, Personal, Wishlist

How to Replace New Year’s Resolutions

2017 Happy New Year! This is a resolution free zone!! NO More New Year's Resolutions!

Many will agree that 2016 was a tough year. As a way of preparing for 2017, most people are probably doing the same thing they do every year – set New Year’s resolutions. What many people don’t realize is that according to a University of Scranton study, only 8% of people achieve their New Year’s goals. With such prospects, why set them at all?

So, this year I’ve decided to try an experiment and I welcome you to try it with me. Rather than starting the year with a list of goals that I’ll probably fail at, I’m going to try something a little different. I’m going to replace my New Year’s resolutions with a “wish list” of all the things I desire to manifest. I’m not going to worry about the “how” or “when”. That’s boring. There are too many moving parts involved. Instead, I’ll leave those details to the source of power that keeps the universe running. You can refer to this source as God, Divinity, Universe, Source, Mystic Law, Myoho – it doesn’t matter. All that matters is the awareness that I don’t have all the answers at my fingertip, but some force bigger than me does.

My only focus will be on the “what”-  the things that I wish to manifest because they add joy to my life. As far as I’m concerned, nothing is too big or small. I’l keep adding to my list as I see fit. If at some point my desire for certain things change before they manifest, I’ll remove them. That’s it. Simple.

Wish List vs. New Year’s Resolutions

At this point, you’re probably wondering how creating a wish list is better than setting New Year’s resolutions. Well, let me count the ways:

  1. With a wish list, there is no pressure to achieve any goals since there are none.
  2. I don’t have to figure out any steps on “how” to make any goals happen. I simply trust that I’ll be led to the right people, place and/or circumstances that will help my wishes to manifest. Call it intuition, if you like..
  3. I don’t have to force myself to make any changes that I’m not ready to make.
  4. I can finally just focus on things that bring me joy and happiness.

What it boils down to is this – most of the time, resolutions fail. So, why continue to do the same thing every year while expecting different results? Sounds insane to me. With this experiment, you have nothing to lose but a few minutes of your time. You have the opportunity to become like a child who’s making a list for Santa. That’s way more fun than setting goals.

Example of a Wish List

In case you’re wondering what’s on my wish list, below you’ll find a sneak peak. I like to write my wishes in the present tense, as if I already have them. There are many theories beyond the scope of this post as to why focusing on desires as if it they already exists is more powerful than focusing on them in future tense. If you’re really curious, two good resources to get you started are The Power by Rhonda Byrne and Money, and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Wealth, Health, and Happiness by Esther Hicks. Without further adieu, here are the top 8 items on my list:

  1. I reach my ideal weight in the healthiest and funnest way possible.
  2. All of my friends, family and myself  have absolute happiness, optimal health, peace of mind and victory in all areas.
  3. I’m debt free.
  4. I have enough money saved up to last for at least one year.
  5. I have multiple sources of income.
  6. My relationships are improved, especially local ones, and I have a great network of support for Conrad and myself.
  7. Conrad thrives at school and makes many more friends.
  8. I’m 100% self-employed and doing work that’s both fulfilling to me and adds value to the lives of others.

I have more items to add, but you get the point. I have no idea how many of the things on my list will manifest, but that’s OK. I’ve come to believe that it’s not my job to worry about all of that. Whatever wisdom or resources I need will present themselves.

So, let’s see how it all goes. I’ll keep you updated in future posts. If you’re joining me in this experiment, have fun making your wish list. Also, let me know about  your experience.  Blessings to you and Happy New year!

 

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December 25, 2016 0 Comments Christmas, Life, Personal, Uncategorized

Last Post of 2016

Christmas 2016

Wow, I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since I last wrote a blog post! I started 2016 with so much excitement about blogging again, and then life happened. Before I knew it, almost a years has passed and it’s now Christmas day. To my defense, I have been more active on Facebook this year then any other year. In addition, I’m now ready to take it to the next level, and start posting to multiple places at once.

I won’t make any promises or declarations on how often I’ll be blogging. I have to set myself up for victory. However, I am determined to increase my online social network. I’m also working on improving my health and want to start posting about my journey. So, stay tuned. In the meantime, may your holidays be happy and safe. Blessings to you.

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January 1, 2016 2 Comments Life, New Year, Personal, Uncategorized

A Welcome Note to 2016

2016 - Happy New Year!

My first post of 2016 will be a relatively short one. I wish I could say that I’m going to miss 2015, but I’d be lying. Now, don’t get me wrong. I did have some amazing moments, most of which involved my son, and I was able to find a good job at a great company. Yet, I also lost both parents and have been dealing with the emotional roller coaster ride that comes with that. In addition, I’ve been dealing with some physical health issues that’s made it challenging to keep up with my little one and some relationship issues concerning certain family members. So, needless to say, I’m ready to move on to a fresh start. To 2015, thank you for the happy moments and life lessons. Goodbye now. 

To 2016, welcome to the world baby. I don’t know what the future holds, but I look forward to getting to know you.  I pray that we’ll work well together towards accomplishing all goals. May you  bless us with an abundance of love, absolute happiness, good health, long life, protection, prosperity, victory and good fortune. When we forget, may you gently remind us to live life in the present so that we have absolutely no regrets. May your arrival rain blessings on the whole planet. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

xoxoxo

Happy New Year everyone and blessings to you!

 

December 28, 2015 2 Comments Health, Life, Motherhood, New Years Resolutions, Nutrition, Personal, Uncategorized, Updates, Weight Loss, Work

I’m back, for now

So, it’s been about 10 months since I wrote a blog post. I should warn you – this is going to be a long one… One of my biggest pet peeves is to see see blogs that aren’t frequently updated… And yet, here I am, dusting mine off after almost a year hiatus. So what have I been up to, you ask?  Well, when I last blogged, I had just gotten laid off . There I was with a small baby, a household to maintain and no work. I wish I could say that losing my job was the most eventful part of my year, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case. I would soon experience loss on a whole new level.

For those of you who may not know my story,  please allow me to back track a little…

After graduating from college in 2003, I did some freelance web designing for about a year. After not getting paid fully for a couple of projects, I decided that I needed a break. Weeks later, I ended up traveling to Foxtail Farm where I spent a couple of months doing an organic farming internship. It was there that I learned about Heifer International. The following year, I spent 6 months doing volunteer work at the Heifer International Ranch and Learning Center in Arkansas.

While I was away, I found out that my mother stopped taking some of her meds. Back then she was on about 15 different medications a day. Needless to say, she was experiencing some severe side effects with some of pills and wanted her doctors to wean her off. Being that she was going to a free clinic, her requests fell on deaf ears. She then grew impatient and decided to take matters into her own hands. Sadly, this decision led to some serious consequences. My mom would soon learn how fatal it can be to stop taking certain drugs incorrectly.

On August 26, 2005, 2 weeks after I came home from Arkansas, my mother suffered a cardiac arrest and I watched her die in the ER. Although she was resuscitated, witnessing all of this was probably one of the worst experiences of my life. To make matters worst, I was carrying guilt for all the years of bad attitudes that I had towards her. Even that fateful night, I remember being so annoyed that she made us wait until the last minute to take her to the hospital for the breathing problems she was having. She thought it was asthma and kept putting it off. When she finally couldn’t take it anymore, we ended up having to drive through hurricane Katrina.  We would later learn that my mother’s heart was failing and pumping fluids into her lungs the whole day, hence the breathing problems. I still sometimes wonder if things would have turned out differently if we had acted sooner…

After mom had the cardiac arrest, her prognosis wasn’t good. She was without oxygen for too long and ended having quite a bit of brain  damage. The doctors weren’t hopeful and didn’t expect her to live more than a few days, if that much. Fortunately, mom would prove all of them wrong and live for another 10+ years.  Unfortunately,  she was no longer able to walk, talk or do anything on her own. Although she had a wake/sleep cycle and showed signs of awareness, she was said to be in a persistent vegetative state.

Despite all of this, her health was pretty stable for the next 8+ years. She needed total care, but was able to breath on her own. Then, about 2 years ago, her health started to deteriorate rapidly. She started going in and out of the hospital, almost on a monthly basis. At first I thought it was negligence from the nursing home, but then with each hospital visit she would come back with a new problem. Eventually one of our worst nightmares became a reality – mom needed life support.

After my mother was put on a respirator, everything went downhill from there. Between 2014 and 2015,  mom was in and out of the hospital for pneumonia, developed folliculitis,  and even started to have some kidney problems. The whole family felt helpless as we watched her suffer.

At this point, I wish I could say that things got easier after a while, but they didn’t. As I mentioned in my last post, on February 5th, I got laid off. It was rough, but at least I was able to visit mom more often since I had more time on my hands. Then 18 days later, my mom passed away, surrounded by me and all my siblings. My dad, who apparently was sick and kept it on a down low, would soon follow 2 months later.

Fast forward to the present, it’s been hard. Yet, things are finally starting to quiet down a little. I’ve had a couple of scary mommy moments, which I’ll write about in a future posts, but overall, life is slowly getting back to some level of normal. The holidays were/are rough without my parents, but I’m getting through them.

So, what happens now, you ask? That’s where blogging comes in. I know this sounds like a cliche, but I have some goals for 2016. My hope is that by writing about them down, I could be held accountable – even if it’s from just one person reading this post. It’s a lot easier to quit when no one is watching.

With that said, here are my 2016 goals:

  1. Limit Eating out – Most people who know me think that I eat a pretty clean diet already. What they may not know is that I don’t like all the clean up that happens during/after cooking and eat out quite a bit. My goal this new year is to limit eating out to no more than twice a week, if that much.
  2. Limit Combining Carbs with Fats – Another thing many may not know about me is that I love foods that are both rich in carbohydrates and fat – 2 things that don’t go well together when one is trying to trim down. My goal for this new year is to limit carbs to less than 10 grams a dish if I’m eating fats and to limit fats to less than 10 grams if I’m eating carbs/starches.  If I need to eat out, I’ll stick with foods that require little to no cooking with fats, such as salads or uncooked sushi. Most restaurants use soybean or canola oil in their dishes anyways, and those fats are about as bad as drinking plastic.
  3. Focus on Losing Inches and Fat Rather than Weight – I have absolutely no idea what my ideal weight should be. Even when I was 40 pounds thinner than I am now, I still felt like I was what some would call “skinny fat”. So, instead of focusing on a number on a scale, I’m going to focus on 3 things:
    • Amount of inches lost
    • How I look in the mirror
    • How my clothes fit

    Once a month I may weigh in to track my progress, but the number on the scale won’t be my primary focus.

  4. Have a normal Pap Smear at my next OB/Gyn Appointment – To my male readers, I apologize if this is TMI. The OB that I’ve been going to has recently “fired” me as a patient, because I chose to deal with my abnormal pap smear naturally rather than following her advice. I know it’s a gamble, but it’s one that I’m willing to take, for now. I will do whatever procedure is necessary if my next visit is it still abnormal, but all I wanted was the opportunity to try to improve my health my way before allowing a doctor to mess with my body. Maybe it’s because giving birth naturally to my son was so traumatizing, but the last thing I want at this time is for any doctor to come near me with any sort of invasive procedure or sharp instrument, unless it’s absolutely necessary.
  5. Improve my credit score – There was a time where my credit score was so amazing, I could walk into a car dealership with no money and leave with a brand new car. I want to be able to have that “buying” power again. I plan on and have already started doing the following:
    • Live beneath my means
    • Cut down on expenses
    • Pay off some hospital bills
    • Stay current with student loans
    • Stay current with credit card bill until I pay if off completely

And that’s all I have for now. For those of you who are still reading, thanks for hanging in there! You are appreciated. I would love to hear from you. How was your 2015? What are some of your goals for 2016? If you hold me accountable, I’ll return the favor. Blessings to you and Happy Holidays. 🙂

February 18, 2015 1 Comment Faith, Life, Work

Everything happens for a reason…

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged from my website. I’ve been so busy with life and comfortable with my job that I completely abandoned it, along with my portfolio. Well, there’s nothing like getting laid off to help get me back on track.

For those of you who may not have known, I worked at Citrix for almost 4.5 years. I can honestly say that it was one of the best companies I’ve ever worked for. Unfortunately, life or Divinity had other plans for me for 2015. Before I could reach the 5 year mark, I ended up being one of the 700 full-time employees that was laid off on February 4, 2014.

“Everything happens for a reason” is a phrase that I’ve heard quite a few times since that fateful day. At first it annoyed me, but then I started to see the truth in it. For one thing, this layoff gave me the motivation I needed to take down the maintenance page that had been on my site for almost 6 years. It also freed up my time so that I can both give the site a much needed facelift and update my portfolio that looked like something out of the 90’s. I’m even finding myself wanting to get back into art again…

In addition to everything already mentioned, here are three lessons that I learned from all of this:

Lesson 1: Don’t allow yourself to be too comfortable with a corporate job

It’s easy to become very comfortable with a corporate job after you’ve been at a company for many years. Before you know it, you become lazy and complacent. You forget that at the end of a day, you’re a replaceable employee. Unless you’re the CEO or a board member with a high amount of shares, you can easily be replaced. So, stay sharp. Keep up with the latest best practices and trends in your field. Keep your resume and/or portfolio updated. Learn from my mistake. Don’t wait until you’re unemployed to try to figure this all out.

Lesson 2: Maintain good relationships with peers both inside and outside of your place of employment

Maintaining good working/professional relationships is very important. You never know when you’ll need to connect with someone in your field for reference or recommendation. Even if you don’t like someone’s personality, try to find some common ground or something about him/her that you appreciate. Trust me when I say that often times, the ones you least expect are the ones that end up helping you in the future.

Lesson 3: Maintain good relationships with recruiters

No matter how much you love working at a company or how long you’ve been there, it doesn’t hurt to have good relationships with recruiters in your area. Even if you have no plans of ever leaving, you never know when you may not have a choice. So, it makes sense to keep in touch with recruiters so that you have people to reach out to in case the inevitable happens. Good recruiters will work hard on your behalf. Trust me when I tell you that this is very helpful, especially when you’re forced back into the job market after years of employment.

Anyhow, that’s all I have for now. Time to move forward. My prayer is that all of us who were impacted by the layoff will find career opportunities that are perfectly suited for us. With that said, do you know anyone who’s looking for a UI/Front-End Web Developer in the South Florida area and who doesn’t mind some singing/humming every once in a while, occasional conversations about nutrition and a weird sense of humor? If so, let me know. Thanks. 😉

 

March 26, 2009 2 Comments Health, People

A Public Announcement to My Sick Friends and Fam

Dear Friends and Fam,

As many of you may know, I’m a firm believer that incorporating lot’s of fresh fruits and veggies in your diet will keep your immune system strong. Sadly many times we either don’t eat enough of these healing foods or our immune systems still need a little extra boost. In cases like this, the following steps usually work for me. The steps regarding the vitamins are also useful before getting sick if implemented when there’s a bug going around.

  1. I always keep a supply of the dynamic trio – Zinc, Echinacea and Vitamin C. I take these three in addition to a multivitamin once a day until the cold or flu goes away. I also always take these three with the soup mentioned in the next step.The minute I start to feel under the weather, I either make or buy some Veggie soup without noodles or pasteurized dairy or MSG. I do add some spices and make sure it has enough natural sodium from sea salt to make the soup act as saline solution to help loosen up phlegm. As for wheat and pasteurized dairy products, I find that they can causes excessive mucous (sorry if this is TMI). MSG (Monosodium Glutamate) can cause reactions known as MSG symptom complex  which include headaches, facial pressure, numbness etc. For more information on this, visit – MSG Symptom Complex – Chinese Restaurant Syndrome. No one needs those complication when trying to heal from a cold/flu.
  2. Before drinking/serving the soup, I like to crush fresh garlic into it. Garlic is a powerful natural antibiotic and antioxidant and works wonders for me.  I’ve also become a fan of organic turmeric which has natural anti-inflammatory and antibiotic properties. Be sure to pair it with black or white pepper since it helps with absorption.
  3. For sore throat, I like to gargle with warm sea salt water in addition to the steps above.
  4. For both colds and flus, rest and plenty of fluids are a definite requirement.

With these steps together, I am usually able to knock out a cold within a matter of a few days and have also had success with the flu. Please keep in mind that these are steps that work for me. Everyone is different so please take that into consideration should you decide to try out these steps for yourself. For example, if you’re allergic to garlic, then use wisdom and skip it and try only turmeric.

To your health and mine ;).

February 26, 2009 1 Comment Life, People

Unconditional Love

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about unconditional love. I’ve come to realize that I can only love others unconditionally if I first love myself in that way.  When you think about it, does it not make sense?

Imagine trying to accept others for who they are while being highly critical and judgmental of yourself…

Imagine trying to be compassionate with others while beating yourself up every time you make a mistake…

Imagine trying to forgive others while never forgiving yourself…

Difficult isn’t it?

So with that, I also started thinking about what unconditional love means to me – like how I would define it based on my experiences. Here’s my take:

Unconditional love is love in its highest and purest form, where there is no fear, no judgment and no unrealistic expectations
This kind of love heals and uplifts
This kind of love is given freely, even when it’s not deserved
This kind of love surpasses all understanding
This kind of love never fails

I wonder what the world would be like if everyone loved like this… Would that leave room for breakups? Maybe it does… Since as humans we are constantly growing and evolving, maybe it’s possible for 2 people to deeply love each other and yet grow apart. I imagine they would amicably part ways while having deep appreciation and gratitude for the moments shared.

Heck, I imagine that this can also apply to other types of relationships as well.  To be able to have differing opinions on things and simply agree to disagree with no hard feelings… Hmm, what a concept…

I imagine in a world where people loved like this there would be no need for wars. Countries would celebrate each other’s differences and have peaceful exchanges between each other. Poverty would most likely not exist. Governments, loving their peoples unconditionally, would see to it that all resources are fairly distributed and that all needs are met.

Taking it to the next level, I also imagine that people who love unconditionally would take greater responsibility for their environment. I don’t believe it would be necessary for all people to become vegans (though that would be great for the animals – one less predator to worry about), but I imagine that people would treat animals and the earth with more respect.  Even in nature, I believe animals are born knowing that they are either predators or preys.  Yet, I imagine there exist a certain level of respect between the animals. It’s like an unspoken understanding that it’s not personal, only survival.

Wow, in all my imaginings, I forgot that I have to get to work. My bosses have been extremely awesome to me and I have every determination to keep reciprocating the same level of awesomeness back to them.

Anyhow, this been my take on unconditional love. Anyone care to join me in putting this into practice? 🙂

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February 22, 2009 0 Comments Uncategorized

On Being… Part 2

On Being Afraid

Panic. Tears. Breathless.
Heart Racing. Head Spinning. Timeless.
Running Away. Standing Still. Helpless.

On Being Grateful

Joyful. Excited. Thankful.
Thoughtful. Encouraging. Loving.
Gracious. Compassionate. Appreciation.

On Being in Love

Friendship. Crush. Attraction.
Trust. Passion. Satisfaction.
Soulmate. Lover. Companion.